![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mama"It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself."
~Joyce Maynard
Parenthood.
Motherhood.
Five weeks to my due date and I'm terrified. Exhilarated. Thoroughly and unequivocally overwhelmed by the idea of it all.
Through high-school, I had always seen myself spending the prerequisite four years in university, developing a career and eventually (maybe) settling down and reproducing. Looking back, I think that there aren't a lot of people who leave high-school expecting what comes next.
Things, for me, got put off. At first it was just going to be a year. I'll take some classes, I thought. Upgrade a few core subjects at the community college before heading off to secure a glamorous post-secondary education. Then it was two years. Then, I couldn't make up my mind as to what I wanted to do with my life. My high-school sweetheart and I bought a house. We got engaged. We got a dog. We got married.
School and an impressive career became less important.
I got pregnant.
Now, this wasn't a huge surprise for us. We weren't actively trying, but neither were we actively preventing. It did, however, happen much faster than we really expected. It was surreal.
Hell, it's still surreal and I'm 35 weeks along!
This place is just a place that's new. A nice clean slate to refocus; an emphasis on family and everything that goes with it. A chance to grow up that little bit more, unfettered by old lists and old circles.
I look forward to the things that I'll learn.
Motherhood.
Five weeks to my due date and I'm terrified. Exhilarated. Thoroughly and unequivocally overwhelmed by the idea of it all.
Through high-school, I had always seen myself spending the prerequisite four years in university, developing a career and eventually (maybe) settling down and reproducing. Looking back, I think that there aren't a lot of people who leave high-school expecting what comes next.
Things, for me, got put off. At first it was just going to be a year. I'll take some classes, I thought. Upgrade a few core subjects at the community college before heading off to secure a glamorous post-secondary education. Then it was two years. Then, I couldn't make up my mind as to what I wanted to do with my life. My high-school sweetheart and I bought a house. We got engaged. We got a dog. We got married.
School and an impressive career became less important.
I got pregnant.
Now, this wasn't a huge surprise for us. We weren't actively trying, but neither were we actively preventing. It did, however, happen much faster than we really expected. It was surreal.
Hell, it's still surreal and I'm 35 weeks along!
This place is just a place that's new. A nice clean slate to refocus; an emphasis on family and everything that goes with it. A chance to grow up that little bit more, unfettered by old lists and old circles.
I look forward to the things that I'll learn.
